If both husband and wife wish to see one another in this very life and also to meet one another again in the next life, both should be alike in faith, ethical conduct, giving, and wisdom.

PTS 2.61

AN 4.55 Paṭhama samajīv sutta - The Same In Living (First)

Evaṁ me sutaṁ— ekaṁ samayaṁ bhagavā bhaggesu viharati susumāragire bhesakaḷāvane migadāye.

Thus have I heard—At one time, the Blessed One was dwelling among the Bhaggans in Crocodile Mountain, in the Deer Park at Bhesakaḷā Grove.

Atha kho bhagavā pubbaṇhasamayaṁ nivāsetvā pattacīvaramādāya yena nakulapituno gahapatissa nivesanaṁ tenupasaṅkami; upasaṅkamitvā paññatte āsane nisīdi.

Then the Blessed One, having dressed early in the morning, taking his alms bowl and outer robe, went to the residence of the householder Nakulapitā. Having arrived, he sat down on the prepared seat.

Atha kho nakulapitā ca gahapati nakulamātā ca gahapatānī yena bhagavā tenupasaṅkamiṁsu; upasaṅkamitvā bhagavantaṁ abhivādetvā ekamantaṁ nisīdiṁsu. Ekamantaṁ nisinno kho nakulapitā gahapati bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: “Yato me, bhante, nakulamātā gahapatānī daharasseva daharā ānītā, nābhijānāmi nakulamātaraṁ gahapatāniṁ manasāpi aticaritā, kuto pana kāyena. Iccheyyāma mayaṁ, bhante, diṭṭhe ceva dhamme aññamaññaṁ passituṁ abhisamparāyañca aññamaññaṁ passitun”ti.

Then the householder Nakulapitā and the housewife Nakulamātā approached the Blessed One. Having drawn near, they paid homage to the Blessed One and sat down to one side. Sitting to one side, the householder Nakulapitā said to the Blessed One: “Venerable sir, since I was young, when the young girl Nakulamātā was given to me in marriage, I do not recall ever transgressing against her even in thought, much less by deed. Venerable sir, we wish that in this very life we may continue to see one another, and also that we may see one another again in the next life.”

Nakulamātāpi kho gahapatānī bhagavantaṁ etadavoca: “yatohaṁ, bhante, nakulapituno gahapatissa daharasseva daharā ānītā, nābhijānāmi nakulapitaraṁ gahapatiṁ manasāpi aticaritā, kuto pana kāyena. Iccheyyāma mayaṁ, bhante, diṭṭhe ceva dhamme aññamaññaṁ passituṁ abhisamparāyañca aññamaññaṁ passitun”ti.

Then Nakulamātā, the housewife, also said to the Blessed One: “Venerable sir, since I was young, when I was given to the householder Nakulapitā in marriage, I do not recall ever transgressing against him even in thought, much less by deed. Venerable sir, we wish that in this very life we may continue to see one another, and also that we may see one another again in the next life.”

“Ākaṅkheyyuñce, gahapatayo, ubho jānipatayo diṭṭhe ceva dhamme aññamaññaṁ passituṁ abhisamparāyañca aññamaññaṁ passituṁ ubhova assu samasaddhā samasīlā samacāgā samapaññā, te diṭṭhe ceva dhamme aññamaññaṁ passanti abhisamparāyañca aññamaññaṁ passantīti.

“Householders, if both husband and wife wish to see one another in this very life and also to meet one another again in the next life, both should be with the same faith, with the same ethical conduct, with the same generosity, and with the same wisdom. Then they will see one another in this very life, and they will meet one another again in the next life.”

Verse

Ubho saddhā vadaññū ca,
saññatā dhammajīvino;
Te honti jānipatayo,
aññamaññaṁ piyaṁvadā.

“Both are faithful and generous,
restrained and living in accordance with the Dhamma;
they become husband and wife,
speaking kindly to one another.

Atthāsaṁ pacurā honti,
phāsukaṁ upajāyati;
Amittā dummanā honti,
ubhinnaṁ samasīlinaṁ.

Then plentiful benefits arise [for them],
and they dwell in ease;
their enemies are dejected,
when both are the same in ethical conduct.

Idha dhammaṁ caritvāna,
samasīlabbatā ubho;
Nandino devalokasmiṁ,
modanti kāmakāmino”ti.

Having lived by the Dhamma here,
both with the same precepts and practices;
they delight [after death] in a heavenly world,
pleased, enjoying sensual pleasures.”

Topics & Qualities:

Ethical conduct

Ethical conduct

A disciplined way of living grounded in harmlessness and integrity. Ethical conduct restrains the body and speech from harm, purifies behavior, and forms the foundation for collectedness and wisdom.

Also known as: moral integrity, right action, virtue
Pāli: sīla, sammākammanta
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Faith

Faith

Confidence in the Buddha's awakening and the efficacy of the path. It brightens and steadies the mind, removing doubt and inspiring energy toward wholesome practice. True faith rests on clarity and direct experience rather than mere belief.

Also known as: confidence, trust, belief, conviction, self-assurance
Pāli: saddha, pasanna
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Giving

Giving

The act of generosity, sharing, or offering to others without expecting anything in return. Giving is considered a foundational virtue in Buddhist practice, fostering selflessness and compassion.

Also known as: generosity, charity, donation, almsgiving, donating, philanthropy, providing with, gift with
Pāli: dāna
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Wisdom

Wisdom

Lived understanding and sound judgment that steers the mind away from suffering, distinct from mere accumulation of facts.

Also known as: (of a person) wise, astute, intelligent, learned, skilled, firm, stable, steadfast, an experiential understanding of the four noble truths
Pāli: paññā, medhā, dhīra, paṇḍita, asammūḷha
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Persons:

Householder Nakulapitā

The aging householder told the Buddha plainly that his body was breaking, and heard the classic instruction: train so the mind stays unafflicted while the body declines, then received Sāriputta's elaboration on the aggregates (SN 22.1). With his wife Nakulamātā he became the canon's model marriage, alike in faith, ethics, giving, and wisdom and hoping to meet again in heaven (AN 4.55); gravely ill once more, it was his wife's fearless deathbed encouragement, not a teacher's, that stilled his pain (AN 6.16).

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Laywoman Nakulamātā

Nakulamātā, the canon's model wife. When her husband lay gravely ill she steadied him with her speech at the bedside: the household is in good hands, she is faithful, capable, and serene; do not die anxious (AN 6.16). The Buddha held up their marriage as alike in faith, ethics, giving, and wisdom (AN 4.55), and taught her the eight qualities by which a lady wins rebirth among the Gods of the Agreeable Host (AN 8.48).

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Last updated on October 26, 2026

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